2016 Lyrics
BURLINGTON (sung to the tune of “Galveston”) (2016)
Burlington, oh, Burlington,
with the breeze o’er Lake Champlain blowing
Where as Mayor, I helped its growing
I was forty-one, elected in Burlington.
Washington, oh, Washington,
In ’63 I heard Martin preaching
Of a dream that’s so worth reaching.
I had begun, to start in Burlington.
As I worked for economic justice
For Vermonters and the whole country
Then the voters elected me
to the House and then the Senate
To represent them in Washington
Burlington to Washington,
And Nevada to Ohio,
Life should be better, me oh my oh,
For everyone as we all try to reach the sun
And to be President in Washington.
(Spoken) Bernie Sanders for President!!
Thank you and Good night
16 Republicans (to the tune of “Sixteen Tons”) (2016)
They had 16 Republicans, and ev’ry one
Wants to bomb Iran to kingdom come.
Same sex love is far to grim,
And they want lower taxes on the rich like them.
CHORUS
Ya had 16 folks, and each one, you bet,
Wants to slice good stuff to cut the national debt.
The Grand Old Party is just plain old
With a tarnished soul now that Trump took his toll.
Former gov’ner Mike Huckabee is a nice guy.
He speaks for God, but only he knows why.
He and Christie want Social Security fixed
For unborn kids so abortion is nixed.
Doc Ben Carson operated on brains.
He feels the competition lacks ‘em, so he deigns…
…to try to lead our country to be great but not PC.
Against Obamacare but for the mili-ta-ree.
CHORUS
Rand Paul’s father taught him how to be free,
And be Kentucky Senator for liber-ty.
I mean he speaks for the Party of Tea
So everybody can be ME, ME, ME!
Rick Santorum lost his senate spot
But his passion for the presidency he did not.
Vested with faith that he speaks for God
By intelligent design, he will get the nod.
CHORUS
Carly Fiorina topped a high-tech shop.
To up the bottom line she went “chop-chop.”
To raise all boats That’s her theme,
But to poor folks it seems just plain mean.
Ted Cruz’s crusade is to never fail,
But his actions in the Senate were beyond the pale.
He went to Ivy League schools to learn,
And his web site says he only makes Right turns.
CHORUS
Jeb Bush wants to be the man to lead
And some calm rationality is what they need.
But basic Reaganomics doesn’t ring the bell.
To his weak campaign people say, “Oh, well.”
Marco Rubio’s of Cuban descent.
He wonders where everybody else’s youth went.
The 2nd amendment’s a right, not a suggestion,
And he gives Bush and Ted Cruz indigestion.
CHORUS, Final Time
I WRITE THE LAWS (2016)
(to the tune of I Write the Songs)
ANNOUNCER
Both Bernie and Hillary denounce the influence of Big Money in political campaigns. The Sanders contributions are mostly small ones while Hillary's certainly are in larger chunks, and some are from Wall Street. Here to give you the real perspective is "the Man" himself, MISTER MONEY.
MISTER MONEY:.
I’ve been alive forever and I wrote the very first laws
I had the might and the power to enforce them
I am MONEY, AND I WRITE THE LAWS.
I write the laws that make the whole world sing.
You’re out of tune if that cash register don’t ring.
I write the laws so only poor folks cry
I write the laws, I write the laws.
My home’s the halls of Congress and "K" Street & big Board rooms.
Campaign finance laws tried to curtail me
But the High Court gave them the ka-boom
I write the laws that concentrate the wealth.
Too bad for public good or worsening health.
I write the laws and people wonder why
‘Cause voters let me, that’s why.
Bil-lion-aires are all my friends
We feel demo-cra-cy must end,
And I pay for great P. R. so you think it’s cool.
I pour into campaigns like the easy April rains.
Good for me, bad for you,
you don’t know ‘til I’m through
That the whole country is full of fools
I write the laws that make taxes unfair
The super rich need never pay their fair share.
Some day the middle class may put up a fight
‘Till then I’ll keep writing the laws.
I am MONEY, AND I WRITE THE LAWS.
SHE LOVES ME (2016)
(by Bock & Harnick)
ANNOUNCER
Well, our country suffered through the rest of the Bush presidency, and then thankfully elected President Obama. And now Iowa leads the country in selecting President Obama’s successor. And Hillary is running again, and we bring you her biggest supporter, former President Bill Clinton:
President Bill Clinton:
She Loves Me and to my amazement.
I love it knowing she still loves me
She loves me doesn't often show it.
I'm just glad that I didn't blow it.
Yesterday she loathed me Bah
Now today she likes me Ha
And tomorrow She'll be 1st Lady Ahhh!
I'm happy watching people cheer her.
I'm speechless thinking that I hurt her.
I wronged her but I won't no longer
Since she was in the Senate I've had a chance to mend it
And help her to be all that she can be
She's my 1st Lady And her 1st Man is ME!
This parody may be used with credit to lyricist Marc Crawford Leavitt. www.POLTUNES.com
GUY and DOLL (Bernie & Hillary)- (2016)
(Opening Race-Track Trumpet call:)
Bernie Supporter:
We’ve got the guy right here, and just like Paul Revere,
Bernie can solve the problems that should be clear.
Can do Can do
This guy knows what we should do To rein in the 1-per-cent few.
So vote should you.
Hillary Supporter:
Vote Hil-la-ry ‘cause all can see
With her ex-per- i-ence to lead the coun-try
She Can she can
Command ‘tho she’s not a man, and beat the Repub-li-cans,
She can She can.
Republican supporter:
We hate Obamacare, and Muslims should beware,
We’re all conser- va- tives, about God we care
We care. We care.
Compassion is in our stare. As long as you didn’t come here,
From there. We care.
(The above three verses can all be sung simultaneously, ending with)
Bernie supporter: Hillary supporter: Republican:
Vote should you. Yes, she can. Really care.
(All:) We got the guy RIGHT HERE.
TOO BIG TO FAIL (2016)
(to the tune of “Supercalifragiliticexpialadocious”)
ANNOUNCER
And that guy is Bernie Sanders whose comprehensive plan to break up the banks and improve the economy is the only real chance to reduce the gap between the rich and poor. Here’s the plan:
CHORUS:
There’s...
Chase, Bank of America & Citigroup & Gold-man.
They’ll destroy our country, helped by Congress full of old men.
We need Bernie Sanders to get them to hit the road
And break up banks Too Big To Fail like Citigroup & Gold-man.
Um, diddle-iddle-iddle, um, diddle-eye
Um, diddle-iddle-iddle, um, diddle-eye
In Two Thousand and Eight there was a story sad to tell.
The Masters of the Universe all made a living hell.
And millions lost their pension savings and their jobs as well.
And that is why we need the guy named Bernie who can tell
them…
CHORUS
Um, diddle-iddle-iddle, um, diddle-eye
Um, diddle-iddle-iddle, um, diddle-eye
Our Bernie started to campaign without much chance to win.
With Hillary on every screen the coverage was thin.
But now the polls are showing she might take it on the chin.
Cause Bernie knows the way to cure U.S. financial sins
Of…
CHORUS