2007 Lyrics
HEAVY HITTERS: About the Candidates who Decided NOT TO RUN
To the Tune of "Charlie & the MTA" by the Kingston Trio
Revised lyrics by Marc Crawford Leavitt & Rick Tibbetts
Marc:
Let me tell you a story ‘bout some hea- vy hitters
Who de-ci-ded not to take the plunge.
Rick:
Al- tho each one is qual- -I-fied to lead the coun-try
They could not deal with the grunge.
CHORUS:
And did they ever get in? No, they never got in
To a race a- nother will win (our poor country)
Are we doomed to nev- er end-ing
Big bucks races
And campaigns that are sound- bite thin?
1. About Senator Chuck HAGEL
Red state hero by the name Chuck Hagel
is con-ser- va- tive through and through.
But his straight talk com-ment that I- raq’s a failure
Made the G. O. P. black and blue.
To CHORUS
2. About ayor Michael BLOOMBERG:
Mi- chael Bloomberg runs the country’s biggest city;
He’s a comp-e-tent guy who’s rich.
And we think he could beat the other New York players,
One’s a pig and one’s a (pause) woman.
To CHORUS
3. About VP Al GORE:
Big Al Gore really won in Two Thousand
But the court said he got beat.
And since then he’s been the prophet of world de- struction,
Someone’s got- ta take the heat!
To CHORUS
RICHARDSON, BIDEN & DODD: Lament of the 2nd-Tier Candidates
(to the tune of Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo from Disney’s Cinderella)
Original music & lyrics by Mac David, Al Hoffman, Jerry Livingston
Revised lyrics by Marc Crawford Leavitt
Richardson: We follow the leaders,
Biden: wish they would heed us,
Dodd: Politics sure can be odd.
Richardson: Running for president;
Biden: running in place.
Richardson: RICHARDSON,
Biden: BIDEN,
Dodd: & DODD
Richardson: When we’re debating,
Biden: we’re men in waiting
Dodd: Hoping that we’ll get the nod.
Richardson: Balance the ticket,
Biden: become the VP.
Richardson: RICHARDSON,
Biden: BIDEN,
Dodd: Or DODD
Richardson: Here in the second tier,
Biden: High in the nosebleed view,
Richardson: Our chances our slim,
Biden: the pickens are thin
Dodd: There ain’t much Moo-lah-roo. Boo-hoo.
Richardson: We need Big Brother,
Biden: Fairy God-mother
Dodd: Naming us to the first squad.
Richardson: Please pay attention,
Biden: we’re really good guys:
Richardson: RICHARDSON,
Biden: BIDEN
Richardson: The field, it won’t widen for RICHARDSON,
Biden: BIDEN,
Dodd: & DODD.
I CAN’T SAY NO
Sen.Hillary Clinton's answer to HARDBALL questioner, Chris Matthews
Sung to the same name song from "Oklahoma" by Rodgers and Hammerstein.
Revised lyrics by Marc Crawford Leavitt
CHRIS MATTHEWS:
This is Chris Matthews with Hardball. As the Senate debates whether or not to give President Bushy the authority to invade Iraq, some say Congress has been BUSH-WAGGED. Senator HILLARY, have you been Bush-wagged?
SEN. HILLARY: (spoken:) Are you kidding?
IT AIN'T SO MUCH A QUESTION OF NOT KNOWIN' WHAT TO DO.
I'VE KNOWN WHAT'S RIGHT AND WRONG SINCE I'VE BEEN FIVE.
BUT VOTERS AIN'T ATTENTIVE; SOMETIMES THEY DON'T HAVE A CLUE;
'N I WANNA STAY POLITICALLY ALIVE.
I KNOW IT TAKES A VILLAGE, SO I'VE WRIT,
BUT WHEN I'M IN D.C, (pause) THEN I FER-GIT.
I'M JUST A GIRL WHO CAN'T SAY NO
WHEN THERE ARE VOTERS TO SWAY
IF BUSHY SAYS, "COME ON LET'S GO,"
I AIN'T THE ONE TO SAY "NAY."
FOR A WHILE I TRIED TO STAY REAL COOL
AND SAY THE CHOICE SHOULD BE BY THE U.N.
THEN I SAW OLD GLORY COME UNFURLED
AND I TOLD CONGRESS TO LET BUSH SAY "WHEN."
I'D HATE TO SEEM A WIMP OR FOOL
IF BUSHY LEADS AN ATTACK.
DON'T WAN-NA BE LEFT BACK.
WHO GIVES A DAMN 'BOUT I-RAQ.
I CaaaaN'T SAY NO.
WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN YOUR SUPPORT STARTS A SAGGIN'?
THE DOG BUSH IS WAGGIN' WHATCHA GONNA DO?
S'POSSIN' THAT HE SAYS THAT INACTION WOULD BE HORRIBLE
SADDAM IS INTOL'RABLE WHATCHA GONNA DO?
S'POSSIN' THAT HE SAYS THAT FREEDOM'S AT STAKE
THAT SAD-DAM WE GOTTA BREAK OR DIE?
WHACCHA GONNA DO WHEN HE TALKS THAT WAY? SPIT IN HIS EYE?
I'M JUST A GIRL WHO CAN'T SAY "NO,"
THO' IT'S AL QUAEDA TO BLAME.
WHEN BUSHY SAYS, "SAD-DAM MUST GO,"
FOLKS ARE CONVINCED IT'S THE SAME.
I KNOW SOME THINK BUSH-Y IS A FOOL,
AND TO THE LEFT A LEADER I SHOULD BE.
THEN I THINK OF THAT PO-LIT- ICAL RULE:
THE CENTER IS THE PLACE YOU WANNA BE!
I CAN'T RESIST A GAL- LUP POLL,
I CAN'T BE PRISSY AND QUAINT.
VOTERS, THEY DON'T WAN-NA WAIT.
THINK OF TWO THOU-SAND AND EIGHT.
I CAaah-N'T SAaaY NO!
MODERN MODEL OF A CANDIDATE POLITICAL (2007)
Sung to the Tune of "Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Der-E!"
Sen. Barack Obama
Original melody & lyrics by G&S to the tune of Modern Major General
Revised lyrics by Marc Crawford Leavitt
1. I am the mod-ern mod-el of a can-di-date po-lit-I-cal;
I gent-ly down-play Hil-la-ry but with-out soun-ding crit-ical.
My walk is quite pro-gres-sive while I try to drive the mid-dle road.
I’m black & white & also green be-cause I’ve raised a lot of dough.
In mat-ters anti-war-ic-al I truly was an oracle.
As for a-tom-ic wea-pons, we should make them all his-to-ri-cal.
We must fight global terrorists because they’re very terrible (pause)
But not over-re-act and cause a blow-back that’s un-bear-a-ble!
CHORUS:
(last line repeated 3 x, and 3rd time the last word is "un-bear-a-bear-a-ble")
In matters dem-o-cra-ti-cal I’m really quite em-pha-ti-cal.
I like ne-go-ti-a-tion ver-sus ac-tions that are ra-di-cal.
Since Flo-ri-da I wor-ry ‘bout e-lec-tion counts er-ra-ti-cal,
But as I’m al-so prac-ti-cal, my cam-paign chest is fat-i-cal.
CHORUS:
(last 2 lines repeated once, replacing "I" with "he", "I’m" with "he’s", & "my" with "his").
2. Some say my open sty-le is not serious but lyrical,
that I’d allow the terrorists to get from there to here-ical
But world concerns can’t be ignored, to me it’s very clear-ical.
We need a foreign policy that’s multi-hemispherical.
Our country needs new leaders who have something ‘neath their follicles.
Not Karl Rove, the model of a pol who’s di-a-bol-ical.
Instead of Air Force One I think that Bush should ride a tricycle (pause)
And I should be elected ‘cause my heart is not an icicle.
CHORUS:
(last line repeated 3 x, replacing "I" with "he" & 3rd time the last word is "I-cic-eye-ci-cal")
When I’m in charge: decisionmaking, everyone will share in it.
We’ll hold town halls and costume balls, we’ll also use the internet.
Osama, Putin, Rice & Tenet, Chavez, Brown and the whole Senate…
Wait! I’ve got a great idea they’ll all be in my cabinet.
CHORUS:
(last 2 lines repeated once, replacing "I’ve" with "he’s" and "my" with "his")